My Greatest Good

Romans 8:28-30
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.”

I can’t understand or know the details of my greatest good. I am very small, and all of creation and time is too much for me to comprehend. Yet I still try to understand it all. I am tempted to ask endless strings of unanswerable why’s. I suppose they are not unanswerable, only the answers are incomprehensible in my little mind.

Demanding to know what I want to know when I want to know it is incredibly arrogant, and it is an attempt to put God, the creator of the universe and author of all life (including mine) under my feet. It is the creation demanding the submission of its Creator. While there are many things I do not know, there are two things I do know which make all the why’s insignificant.

1) God is good and I am not. God is infinitely righteous and holy, and I see my own wickedness in contrast. I am bad to my core. I see it clearly in my gut reactions.

2) I belong to God. Though I have become worthless, God didn’t simply overlook my sins; He has already punished Christ instead of me. My sins were not overlooked; they have already been paid for. And I have not only been adopted, but I have been born into God’s family. I now belong to God forever.

God is good; I am not. And by His grace, I am in His gentle and unyieldingly persistent hands.

So what is God’s greatest good for me? He wants to bear His image in me. It is restoration to my original purpose which I have ignored and rebelled against my whole life. Living for the creator of life is true living even if my body dies in pursuit of Him. It is that I will be turned from chasing death and chase after life no matter how painful it seems at the time.

My greatest good is not to be pain free and comfortable, or disease free and healthy, or to have all the money I need, or all the food I need; my greatest good is to learn the sufficiency of God’s grace and for my heart and soul to cling to the eternal Giver of Life.

If God is good, and I belong to Him, then I can trust that He is after my greatest good. Sometimes this comes through pain and other times through pleasure. And many times the pain seems disproportionate, so I find myself thinking that God is cruel. Of course, that is only because I don’t understand my sinfulness or the extent to which I chase after death daily, hourly, or even minute by minute, and I don’t understand how much my gracious, loving Father does not want that for His children.

For His children, God’s grace, because of Christ, is found everywhere: in pain and pleasure, friendship and loneliness, and wealth and poverty. God loves His children very much and has promised from before the beginning of time to conform them to the image of His Son.

One day, things will be restored and perfected. None of this is in vain. God works all things together for the good of His children. Do not waste your pain on hopelessness and fear, but use it to cultivate hope and faith. God actively cares for you minute by minute and by His grace gives you all you need for every moment to become a lover of Him, and He gently and persistently steers us away from death toward life.

Marathon Training #3: 20 miles

Yesterday was my last day of increasing my distance before my marathon (which is in three weeks from yesterday). I ran 20 miles which is the longest I’ve ever run in my life. I did this one in 2:50:57. I think that comes out to about an 8:32 minute mile. Not quite as speedy as my 18 mile run, but still happy with my time. Today I’m much sorer than I was after my 18 mile run. It makes me wonder how sore I will be after the full 26.2. I would say more, but I’m about to get kicked out of the library computer lab.

WF 20 Miler

20 miles / 32.18688 km
Created 10.15.11 by mymind1086

Marathon Training #2: Dog Attack

Last Sunday, I was supposed to run 13 miles for my marathon training. I left early in the morning (6:30) while it was still dark so I could still make it to church. I had a long day planned: Run 13 miles, church, work, and then small group that night. At about mile 1, I heard a familiar bark. There is a house at this point with a couple of pitbulls that always bark at me from behind a chain link fence. So, I assumed he was behind a fence. He wasn’t. I looked down to my left to see a pitbull chasing me, snarling and growling. He chomped into the back of my leg, and I spun around and fell down on my back in the middle of the road. The dog ran away before I could kick him. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I got up and started running again. After the adrenaline wore off, my leg started to hurt, and I cut my run short at 8.5 miles.

I went to the doctor (got a tetanus shot), they called animal control, and I found out that the same dog had bitten two other people that morning. The dog’s now in quarantine to make sure he doesn’t have rabies (he probably doesn’t). I took a couple of days off from running, and I’m still a little sore today, but I will be doing my 20 mile run this Sunday.

Honestly, I didn’t think much of it. Dog’s bite sometimes, but pitbulls are actually pretty dangerous. In 2010, there were 33 fatal dog attacks, and even though only 5% of dogs in the US are pitbulls, 67% of these deaths were caused by pitbulls. Of course, that doesn’t include other maulings, bites, and attacks.

Dog attack!

8.5 miles / 13.679424 km
Created 10.10.11 by mymind1086

Marathon Training #1

I am currently training for the City of Oaks Marathon here in Raleigh. I’ve been training for a couple of months now, and yesterday I ran 18 miles. This is a PR for me. This was my route, and my time was 2:31:45, that comes out to 8:25 min per mile. I’m really happy with my time because I didn’t think I could run that fast for that long.

WF 18 miler

18 miles / 28.968192 km
Created 10.01.11 by mymind1086

Hear what he has done for my soul!

Today was one of those days when I woke up needing some kind of encouragement. I want every little thing I do to have some kind of deep lasting value. The problem is not that every little thing I do does not have lasting value. I really do believe everything I do has eternal consequences. But I forget this when I live my life for anything other than God and the life to which He has called me. If I live my life as a performance for people, then everything I do behind closed doors will seem to have no consequence (when in reality it does). My private thoughts will seem worthless, and my time spent alone will only seem to be a waste of time. Sometimes I get busy, and I forget why I’m living. My loyalties are all over the place. Then, I’m fearful that my life has no worth, or things I do will go unnoticed. It’s times like this when I feel myself begin to sink.

I read this hymn this morning, and it reminded me that I have been redeemed. Because of God’s great love and God pouring out his wrath on Christ instead of me, I have been called to God and adopted as his son. Not only have I been adopted, but I have been reborn into His family! No longer am I subject to God’s wrathful anger, but I am disciplined as a loving father disciplines his son. He is making me holy because he saw me in my blind sin and loved me and had compassion on me. He saw that I needed forgiveness and life, and He gave it to me because He loves me.

Hear what he has done for my soul!

-John Newton

Saved by blood I live to tell,
What the love of CHRIST hath done;
He redeemed my soul from hell,
Of a rebel made a son:
O, I tremble still, to think
How secure I lived in sin;
Sporting on destruction’s brink,
Yet preserved from falling in.

In his own appointed hour,
To my heart the Savior spoke,
Touched me by his Spirit’s pow’r,
And my dang’rous slumber broke.
Then I saw and owned my guilt,
Soon my gracious LORD replied;
“Fear not, I my blood have spilt,
’Twas for such as thee I died.”

Shame and wonder, joy and love,
All at once possessed my heart;
Can I hope thy grace to prove,
After acting such a part?
“Thou hast greatly sinned, he said,
But I freely all forgive;
I myself thy debt have paid,
Now I bid thee rise and live.”

Come, my fellow–sinners, try,
JESUS’ heart is full of love;
Oh that you, as well as I,
May his wondrous mercy prove!
He has sent me to declare,
All is ready, all is free;
Why should any soul despair,
When he saved a wretch like me?

Wake Forest and Seminary

A few weeks ago (six and a half to be exact) I moved to Wake Forest from Raleigh to be closer to my school. I’m currently attending Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. Today, I took a break from my studying to take some pictures to share on my blog. However, you must understand that I am no photographer, and my camera is only arguably a camera.

I start with my apartment, then move to Wake Forest, and end with my campus.

My door.

My living room.

I don’t have a couch because I’m really rich.

My bedroom.

As you can see, I do launder my bedding unlike a lot of guys.

(the mattress is small, but it sooooo comfortable.)

My kitchen.

My chicken.

(this was my very last art assignment in college.)

My bike.

Downtown Wake Forest.

Weird statue that startles me every time I walk by it.

My school.

(This is the oldest building on campus. it’s the first building in the state of NC where Evolution was taught. of course, that is very ironic considering it now belongs to a very theologically conservative seminary.)

(this is the newest building. I like that it “looks” old.)

Wake Forest Baptist Church.

Even though it is “on campus”, it’s not a technically a part of our campus.

I want to conclude with a comic I drew yesterday. Enjoy.

“I mean, we could eat here if you really want to. But I’m not a big burger person.”

Withstanding Temptation

*My church recently started a sermon series on the book of Luke. Yesterday, the passage we read was the passage on the temptations of Jesus in the wilderness. In small group last night, we discussed how to withstand (or resist) temptation and what that should look like. I think the problem in our fights against sin is that we ultimately rely on formulas, rules and to-do lists instead of ultimately relying on Christ. Rules and formulas aren’t bad, but they do not change hearts. On the way home, these thoughts came to my mind, and out came this blog.

Withstanding Temptation

There is no such thing as “the last little bit”.

There is no dichotomy between parts of our lives where we need God and parts of our lives where we can depend on ourselves. It isn’t right to say that I depend on myself to make most of my rent and on God for the last little bit. It isn’t right to say that I can provide most of what I need for myself and then put the last little bit in God’s hands. And that last little bit God provides should not be waited for in anxiety with gritted teeth and crossed fingers. I think sometimes we also feel it is our faith that will get us through that last little bit. If we have enough faith, then we will enable God to provide.

This thinking is wrong and replaces God, in our hearts, with self. Thankfully, God has so much grace and compassion that He continues to meet our needs despite the fact that we believe we are the ones meeting our own needs.

The truth is, every single thing we have in life is because of God’s provision. Sometimes I feel proud when I feel I have trusted God to take care of the last little bit. But this really only reveals a complete lack of trust and understanding in God’s provision. I trust in myself to meet most of my needs and then only half-heartedly trust God to meet the last little bit.

In reality, it is only because of God’s grace that I can work and make money. It is only by God’s grace I have friends and family. It is only by His grace that I move and breathe and live and work and play. It is only by His grace that I am justified and no longer have to worry.

All I have is from God.

I think the first step in withstanding temptation is to admit complete, total dependence on God and His grace to provide us with all we need. We have to do away with the idea of self-reliance in any part of our lives. God created me and gave me life and my sustenance is in His hands. I do not have the power to sustain my life anymore than I have the power to create myself.

I also do not have the power to save my soul or justify my soul. My salvation is a gift from God by His grace. It is He who saves me and sustains my soul. It is God who causes my heart to love holiness and find my deepest joy in Him. Without Him, I am only evil through and through. So, I acknowledge that it is God who sustains me in every way, even in my striving.

The idea of withstanding temptation makes more sense when we acknowledge that all we have is from God and that all self-reliance is only delusional thinking.

Grace is free.

In A Godward Life, John Piper says, “Gratitude is a joyful emotion for worship but a dangerous motive for obedience.” He has 3 reasons for this: 1) It is impossible to pay God back for His grace; 2) If we succeeded in paying Him back, it wouldn’t be grace; and 3) focusing on gratitude as an empowerment for obedience tends to overlook the crucial importance of future grace.

The problem with gratitude as an empowerment for obedience is that it nullifies in our hearts the very thing we are grateful for. We are thankful for grace and then try to pay God back for a free gift. Do we truly believe it is free?

God has promised to make you pure and holy.

It’s not that we are justified by the grace of God, and then we have to rely on ourselves for our sanctification or growth in holiness. Every part of our salvation from justification to sanctification is a gracious and miraculous act of God where He Justifies a sinner calling him righteous and holy and then works in him to cause the sinner’s heart to cling to Him for eternity and works in him patiently and lovingly to do good works through him.

God did not save you to sit back and impatiently watch you fumble around in sin. He didn’t save you because He was obligated to and now He has to deal with you because you are His. He saved you because he loves you and wants to pry your heart from death and cause your heart to cling to what it was meant to cling. We find life when our hearts do what they were meant to do: glorify God.

God will not grow tired of you. He knew you better than you will ever know yourself when He first made your heart and soul come alive to His grace and immeasurable love.

When we understand that our souls are in the hands of a very good God and that He has promised to give us the grace to move us from sinfulness to holiness, we can have faith in God’s future grace.

Rely on His grace for obedience.

When I believe that God has promised to make me holy and will continue to sanctify me, I can go before Him daily and receive endless, life-giving riches. He gives me peace, contentment and joy which lead to holiness and love that should overflow to the people around me.

Withstanding temptation comes from a heart change that we are completely dependent on God for. There is no formula or willpower strong enough to change our hearts. We simply come to Jesus Christ and drink living water and take all the riches He graciously blesses us with.

Obedience comes from a faith that God is making us holy day by day and making us a little more willing every day to repent and entrust our hearts, souls and lives to Him.